4 Signs you’re ready to Mediate your Divorce!
The emotional toll of divorce can be debilitating; especially in the beginning of your legal separation. It can at times feel as though you will never be ready to take the next step; which is to negotiate your separation and legally divorce your ex-spouse. Although it can feel hopeless, one day you will feel ready to take that final step.
For some, this feeling can bloom on a random weekday, for others it can be during the mediation process when closure is finally felt by the parties. This feeling can’t be quantified or calculated, however divorcing parties typically show the following signs when they are ready to finalize their divorce.
Enough time has passed, that when you think about your ex-spouse you are no longer flooded with intense emotions. This shift in your emotional well-being, plays a significant factor in your ability to mediate effectively. For some, it can be a sense of indifference, or a general sense of peace. For others, it can even be as simple as forgetting the pain. While this shift doesn’t undue the hardships you’ve faced, it does give you a new perspective that guides how you handle your divorce. This perspective is important when negotiating the terms of your divorce!
You start thinking about how your life will look post-divorce in a more hopeful way. This shift plays an important part in your ability to negotiate in mediation. Knowing your wants and needs post-divorce is an integral starting point of any successful mediation. Typically, in mediation I ask clients where they see themselves in the future. I specifically ask them to picture how their lives will look in 6 months, 1 year, 3 years, 5 years, and the following few decades. What do you want your lifestyle to look like? What do you want your career to look like? What does your kid’s life look like? Clients who are ready to answer these questions are more hopeful about their next chapter, which leads to a better understanding of how to build their new future. If you’re ready to daydream about your future opportunities, then you are ready to start negotiating in mediation!
You begin to recognize the things you can live without. The first thing you learn to live without is your ex-spouse. Then it shifts to possessions and principles. Those who feel the need to “win,” or get back at their ex-spouse by keeping their possessions are still stuck in a place where negotiations will likely breakdown quickly due to conflict. When you are ready to let go, you will recognize the freedom that comes from moving on. This change helps mediation move faster because you now recognize what you need to build your new life, and you recognize the hinderance that is caused by holding on to possessions, wants, and revenge.
You feel relieved to start the process. This feeling can be subtle, but emotional release is a clear sign that you are making the right decision. Previous feelings of dread or anxiety, typically shift to feelings of growth and peace. Clients who exhibit this mind-set shift are more likely to negotiate in their best interests and can collaboratively end their marriage on a positive note. You now recognize you have the power to write your next chapter on your own. This realization is powerful and transformative for clients and their family!
Mediating your divorce is work. When clients feel ready to take on the challenge, the process becomes easier because they are ready to really move on with their lives. This shift will not only help you in your divorce, but will help you save time and money, because you are ready to take control of your life!
Still unsure if you’re ready? Call me today to book your FREE video consultation to find out! (647) 482-4987 or info@ERFmediation.ca
