Family Law Mediation: How does the process work and what should I expect?
Choosing mediation over court is a step in the right direction when it comes to having an amicable and affordable divorce. It is not an easy option, but the outcomes far exceed the work that is put into mediation. Let’s breakdown the mediation process step-by-step.
1) Initial contact with the Family Law Mediator:
Both parties will meet with the mediator individually for their initial consultations in order to learn more about the process and so the mediator can assess if both parties are ready for mediation. In my practice these meetings are always free consultations, and I use the time to learn more about the relationship breakdown, where you are in your divorce journey, and whether we will move forward.
I always tell clients to shop around at this point. It’s important that you understand, respect, and feel comfortable with your choice in mediator. As the mediator I want you to both be as successful as possible, especially when you share children and/or pets with your ex-spouse! Once the mediator believes that the participants are good candidates for mediation, we move on to the next step.
At this point in the journey I always advise clients to get legal advice (if they haven’t already done so). It is imperative to the mediation process that clients individually get their own independent legal advice (ILA), in order to better understand their rights and obligations under the law. Getting ILA can also help speed up the mediation process!
2) Contract signing and screening:
At this stage the clients sign-on with the mediator and I screen for power-imbalances and/or domestic violence issues. It’s important to ascertain the dynamic between parties, and to make accommodations if necessary. If you are in a high-conflict situation or there is a history of domestic abuse, that does not mean mediation cannot happen. In fact, many mediators are trained to help clients dealing with domestic violence issues and can successfully help them settle the terms of their divorce. If the mediator feels they are not equipped to help, they will refer the clients to a mediator who is better trained to do so.
Once the mediator is satisfied that both parties are ready for mediation, then participants move on to the next step.
3) Mediation:
This is where you and your ex-spouse meet, with the mediator facilitating the sessions. These are typically joint-mediation sessions. Depending on the volume of issues, mediation can typically take anywhere from 10-20 hours to complete. Complex cases may take more then 20+ hours to complete. The best way to utilize this time is by being clear on your wants/needs, knowing your legal obligations/rights (ILA) and being open to negotiation.
During these meetings the mediator will guide the session by going over issues that both parties have expressed concerns about. Although it can be awkward at first, participants are given the space and time to work out their issues in a respectful environment. The mediator can generate options, calculate financial supports, share legal information, all while guiding the conversation towards consensus.
4) Writing of the draft agreement or MOU:
Once mediation is complete, I take the time to write out your draft agreement or memorandum of understanding. The type of document you receive is based on your needs as clients.
5) Receiving the draft agreement.
At this point you are done with mediation as you have settled all of your issues, and the terms of your agreement are clearly stipulated. Both parties are still encouraged to get ILA (especially if they have not previously done so), and one party will ask their lawyer to turn the draft document into a separation agreement. Once this is done, you can now file for a divorce with the required documents needed in Ontario or the jurisdiction you reside in.
